I just want to say this: YOU ARE STRESSED OUT!
Stress is THE most common thing I see that drives people to feel like crap. WE don’t even re alize we are stressed. Because it begins with the new job. Then that feels manageable… and then our whoever does whatever. Okay, well that’s under control. Then someone starts asking us favors. Then our car has issues. And this is how stress creeps up on us, one step at a time, in a culture where it’s really no “OKAY” to relax, take a break, slow down, and if you are a woman, to say no.
And the stress hormones make it impossible for us to make good decisions. It actually shuts down that part of your brain.
SO our stress makes us eat bad. And our stress makes it feel impossible to meal plan. And our stress make us think we can never change anything, much less change everything we want to.
So we get stuck. We rely on the old habits more. We get more take out.
If we want to make change ,we beat ourselves up for not doing it… or for trying and failing.
It’s a painful place to live, stressed out, eating junk, and beating ourselves up over it all.
The beautiful thing is that we don’t have to “add one more thing” onto our busy lives to change things.
We don’t have to go to the gym every day, or eat some special protein bar, or give up all the foods we love.
In fact we need MORE of what we love. What we REALLY love. Because we don’t get enough of that.
When we choose what we LOVE, and allow ourselves to enjoy it, we actually make more space to start making healthier choices that make us feel our best.
And slowly, over a few weeks or months, we can eliminate the things that feel bad, and add the things that feel good. And we will lose weight, and enjoy what we are eating! And we can do it FOREVER.
I specialize in helping women overcome emotional eating and sugar addiction, and I overcame that battle myself. Stress leads us to choose junk and sweets, then sweets make us eat more sweets.
You have to get off the hormone roller coaster that is driving your brain right now.
And to do that you have to start with stress management.
Then you add a dose of forgiveness,
And you focus on counting joy (not calories).
What would this would like in your life?
When we are living out of alignment with our own values, it is WAY to easy to be susceptible to people’s criticism.
Haters are hating to trigger us…and unfortunately we all too often get triggered by their BS.
But that is a mistake.
And we make that mistake usually because we have our own hater living inside of us. That is because our society programs us, especially women, to critique ourselves. We look at our bodies or even our faces, and we find everything wrong.
It’s sad to see how the media we are exposed to trains us in this way. All the ads, even the entertainment, are designed to make us compare ourselves to perfect, airbrushed bodies that don’t even exist in the real world.
SO of course when we hear people commenting : “it must be nice to go to the gym...or it must be nice that your clothes are loose… or it must be nice to be able to afford healthy food…or it must be nice to have a health coach” it is all too easy to fall into that negative thinking.
Some people don’t want you to succeed… but they are deep in the trap of being stuck with a bad lot. That does not mean you have to listen to them or let them trigger your inner critic.
The truth is that more often than not it’s how you prioritize things.
I think it's because they try to cover up the fact that they don't do anything about becoming healthier. Or maybe they just need a little motivation, but they aren't at the point of wanting to commit that deeply
When people see that it actually CAN BE DONE they are left with the hard cold truth that their excuses of not seeing results are just that... EXCUSES!
It hurts to hear these messages from the outside, but it hurts more to hear them from the inside.
When we can learn to love ourselves from the inside out…when we can break free from the media that trains us to deprecate ourselves…when we can shake off the haters… then we feel like:
I don't let it get to me because nobody is gonna stop me from becoming healthy!
You don't have to go hungry or kill yourself working out to lose weight.
You can't please everyone…but you can grow big ones!
I'm doing this for me!
So how do you get to this point? Well, when you approach your diet changes as a lifestyle approach you have to address the BIG PICTURE of your life. You look at all the pieces of the puzzle that got you where you are (wanting to change), and break them down one by one to make changes that last!
1. Give up dieting mentality – it keeps you fighting yourself.
2. Listen to your body – honor what you need.
3. Be prepared – make sure you are ready for your busy days!
What can you learn from the haters in your life?
If you are involved in a charity that is looking for donations for a fundraising auction, let me know!
I love to donate to causes that are building up strong communities, fighting for human (women, POC, LBGTQ, or any other kind of human) rights, protecting our environment, helping our children or the needy, or generally making the world a better place :)
I offer three services to charities:
"The Sugar Swap" - 90 minute coaching session
"Have Your Cake, And Eat It, Too" - 90 minute coaching session
"Picky Kids into Healthy Eaters" - eCourse and 50 minute coaching session
All are retail value of $199 so they are great items to help raise funds for a cause you love!
The best way to request any of my services as a donation is to create an account at DonationMatch.com and use my referral code RF100542.
Fellow biz owners - you can also use DonationMatch.com to give.
"The Sugar Swap" - 90 Minute Coaching Session
Do you wish all the sweet things would be calorie free?
Do you wish you could indulge as much as possible with no consequence?
Do you wish kale would give you the same satisfaction as a piece of chocolate cake?
Well, I am here to tell you that while you may not be able to magically change the calorie content of your favorite sweets, you CAN create the perfect-for-you relationship with sugar (without giving it up!!!!).
You can stop eating sweets every night in front of the TV.
You can stop turning to your sugary treat to get you through the afternoon.
You can reset your body so that the sugar doesn't control you.
You can be free from the emotional roller coaster and easily stay on track with your food choices INCLUDING your favorite treats and indulgences!
The SUGAR SWAP is done via Skype or FaceTime, and it is a fun 90 minute session where we start this process by looking for easy ways to replace the sugar with healthier substitutes! Did you notice I said fun?? It really is FUN - I promise you will laugh!
Using my unique and simple three step process, you will transform how you eat sugar.
My clients report feeling better, washing away the guilt, AND easily eating less sugar in three weeks when they follow the steps outlined in the Sugar Swap!
Ever had any of these thoughts…
I'm not feeling pretty.
I'm feeling fat and ugly.
I have so many wrinkles.
My boobs are saggy.
Look at your double chin.
Look at your belly.
It's your fault you got this fat.
You only have yourself to blame.
If you have ever had any thoughts like these… and lets be honest, who hasn’t? Yeah, some of those are mine…some are other people’s they’ve shared with me.
Then I want to chime in here... that is your bitch brain talking.
We ALL have one (men and women both), but women are definitely "trained" to listen to that bitch more than men, though both can fall into it. It actually really pisses me off how society subtly but pervasively makes this kind of thinking epidemic, not matter who you are, where you live, what you look like, or anything else.
And that bitch brain is probably getting louder EXACTLY because you are making positive healthy choices. I'm not a psychologist, I can't tell you *why* that happens... but I do work with women to help them overcome sugar addiction and emotional eating and I can tell you with certainty that if the bitch brain was one of the reasons why you were turning to sugar in the first place (almost always), then when you begin to take better care of yourself that bitch brain gets LOUDER!
The moment you begin to make changes, you begin to think worse thoughts!! It’s very unfair. But think of it as a sign that you’re actually doing something right. Now you have to deal with it so it doesn’t tear you down.
So, how can you turn that off?
Well, it's multi step process and will likely take time, just like any lifestyle change.
1. Retrain your brain. Practice affirmations, but you have to FEEL them. It's not just words... it's FEELING the words and MEANING the words and going just beyond where you are now to where you can BELIEVE the words that describe the next step where you are certain to be in a few days or a week.
2. Journal. You are likely carrying around old baggage. We all are, really, but you have to get to the bottom of it and understand why stopping eating sugar (or exercising or making a healthy choice at a restaurant, or whatever) is making your own brain into a hater. You must understand how you got to where you are at in order to effectively change it.
3. You have to turn your bitch brain into a friend. Instead of accepting the comments as truth... ask her questions. Yes I'm telling you to talk to yourself It works! Ask yourself why you are thinking those things. As you progress your relationship you can start to challenge her. But like the affirmations, if you challenge too early she will fight back. First understand where she is coming from. Over time you will learn to recognize these thoughts as normal self doubt that does not have to be critical or self sabotaging.
Finally, link these new habits to old ones. This works with any kind of new habit - positive thoughts, healthy eating, exercise, etc. You have to find a time... like when you brush your teeth look in the mirror and say 3 nice things about yourself. Since you are already brushing your teeth it will be easier to get this new affirmative habit to "stick" to an old habit than to create a new one from our of thin air.
If you are ready to apply these simple yet profoundly life changing steps in your life…
If you are ready to reverse your relationship with food and your body and start to feel great about yourself...
Book a clarity call today.
I help busy, ambitious women connect their food to their desires & overcome emotional eating in a non-judgmental, supportive environment.