Balancing being the primary caregiver and growing a business and writing books is, well... it's tough to say the least.
Identify Your Needs
I've realized lately that I NEED time to be focused and productive. It is the reason I started a business in the first place! But even though I knew that was behind starting a business, I see that the opportunity to do my work in a focused, UNinterrupted environment is really a core need I have... and one having young kids who are only in school part of the day really impedes upon!
I struggle with how best to use my childfree time... do I take care of myself? Do I run errands (that are way easier on my own of course)? Do I try to buckle down and get my work done?
And of course, when I'm talking about just a few hours per day, those hours go FAST!!! Just making sure I exercise take up a third of that time!!! And, exercise, I've come to realize, is also a non-negotiable!!!
Of course as someone who has a lot of ambition for both my family and my business..and my self! It is really hard to take care of all three to the level that I desire.
Oh, especially without cutting into my sleep!!!!!!
Yes, it's complicated.
Observe How Things Affect You
I definitely don't have all the answers. What I find is that I can only do some of those at once.
There are time I cut into my sleep, and then realize that makes me feel shitty.
There are times I quit exercising, and then realize that makes me feel shitty.
There are times I do not focus on work, and then realize that makes me feel shitty
There are time I don't do self care, and then realize that makes me feel shitty!
The best plan I have right now is to let go of the crap I really don't care about - no clean house, no fancy meals - just tried and true recipes, no big parties. (Don't get me wrong... I LOVE PARTIES!!! I just have to put hosting them on hold for a while... I do a pool party once a year in the summer, and that is easy since all everyone does is hang out by the pool, but otherwise, they have been temporarily arrested.)
And then, honestly, I cycle through my other priorities... so I don't ignore one area entirely, I just give it up a little until I need to bring it back.
I walk instead of doing classes (until I crave the strength and yoga).
I work less (until I want to work more).
I eat cheese and crackers and carrots and dip (until I need something more grown up).
I stay up a bit too late (until I get crabby and go to bed earlier).
Well, you get the idea!
And Reality Check...
I know this isn't necessarily the most inspiring approach, but it's the most realistic. Sometimes we just need a reality check. There is so much bullshit out there about how you can have it all...and I think you can. But you can't necessarily have it all at one time, and that's ok.
Enjoy the Ebb and Flow
It's actually one reason why writing my books has been so awesome for me right now! I love the cycle of book writing. I do the writing - that usually comes in bursts of inspiration and the journals are usually written in a week or two! (My longer books sometimes come in several periods of inspiration spread out over time.)
Then, there is a period of handing a lot of work over to others... that feels great! The content is written, and it starts to transform into an actual book with the help of others!
Then the tedious finalization... I look forward to someday outsourcing this, but for now I want to have the final say so I have to be part of the last steps :)
Then... the launch! This gets exciting again and so I'm re-energized!!!
Then... time to rest... before I take on another project :)
Take me to bed with you... for real!!!
And do this simple secret before you go to sleep.
Just kidding. Actually, it's so simple you can watch it and then go to bed after, because the blue light from your screen is bad for your sleep (and likely adds anxiety).
We Are All Stressed
This simple secret is a fantastic antidote for 21st century stress - the stress you feel, your friends feel, your husband/wife/partner feels, your colleagues feel... and sadly almost all of us feel.
While it manifests in different ways - anxiety, depression, general stress, even anger - the chronic demands society puts on us, and our inability to create the community we need to counteract those demands, adds up!
Hold Your Heart
In this simple technique (technique is too complicated(, you literally hold your heart. We all need a bit more nurturing in our lives, and this is a way to give it to yourself.
Add a Twist
You can really amp up the relaxation by adding a simple twist. Turn your knees to the right and hold your heart; turn your knees to the left and hold your fake heart (right side).
Take Me to Bed
This is why I tell people to take these videos to bed!!! They are soooooo simple and relaxing and really help you detach from some of the day before you head off to sleep.
I totally sucked at self care until I started doing my self care in bed!!! All the things I love to do that make me feel great: journaling, reading, stretching, body wisdom, meditation (I do it laying down), self massage, and other things all happen in bed. And frankly, I really never could get them into my life until I figured this secret out!
So while you may not want to actually take your screen to bed (like I said, the light it emits is bad for your sleep), you should take these ideas to bed and give them a try!!!
And of course, let me know when you do!!!
Have a friend who feels anxiety? Be sure to share this video!!!
I help busy, ambitious women connect their food to their desires & overcome emotional eating in a non-judgmental, supportive environment.