I want to share my experience with a bad coach.
I feel this is important to share the more that I grow in the coaching world as a coach myself. Because coaches are not cheap.
Especially in health and wellness where we have a warped view of what things should cost because of our weird Healthcare System.
But coaching is different than medicine. Coaching is really a holistic approach. But that's another story - more on that later.
For now I just want to acknowledge that it can feel like a financial stretch to hire a coach. It's not something that everybody plans for in their budget.
I know because I've been there myself.
I've hired a variety of different types of coaches. And for the most part they've been awesome experiences that have helped me grow and shift things in my life for the better. I've hired a relationship coach. I've hired a parenting coach. I've hired a health coach.
And I've hired a business coach.
At this point I've heard multiple business coaches. But the one that I want to talk about is my first business coach. Because unfortunately that was probably the most expensive coaching experience that I've had... and the most disappointing.
In hindsight I can tell you the reasons why. And that's exactly what I'm going to do because I don't want anyone else to have that experience!
But I'll also tell you what was valuable about the experience.
So, why was this experience so disappointing?
I can tell you a lot of little things that went wrong.
She gave me business advice that I believe was out of order.
She told me to spend money on ads when I really still needed to be defining my program.
She emphasized an online business model, when I thrive better in person.
She came from a life coaching background and really let me "Lead the way" - when the type of coaching that I (now) know I need actually has a lot of direction and guidance.
But the most important thing is this... I bought a three month coaching package without ever having spoken to this woman!!!!!
I'm honestly kind of embarrassed to put that in print... and you have to promise not to tell my husband that little nugget! Haha!
But for real... this woman had a particular knack at writing compelling emails, and I read one of them... and just bought her program.
What I SHOULD have done was booked a dang call with her, asked a lot of questions, and gotten a sense of if this was realistic for me and my life.
But you know what?
I don't regret it. Because even with a disappointing coaching experience I've learned a LOT. I leaned a lot about what WILL Serve me as I go forward, and I've been smarter (and bit more cautious) about how I spend money on coaches.
And since then I've gotten some AMAZING advice form some AMAZING coaches.
And you know what the BEST part is? I actually know that I would NEVER want to have one of my clients feel about me the way I feel about her. So it's weirdly come out as both major inspiration and major street smarts that I only want to have clients work with me who I KNOW I can serve.
But guess what! I don't know if I can serve you if I've never spoken to you.
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Did you know you have food rules?
You have food rules whether you realize it or not.
Some people are concerned about one thing and not concerned about another.
I'm going to tell you what concerns me. That does not mean that your priorities have to be the same. It's just one example.
And hopefully it gives you food for thought to get you thinking about what is the most important to you.
The more that I read the more strict but I become about food additives. These are non food ingredients as simply don't belong in food. They are typically added to make food palatable while being cheaper and more shelf stable.
And I have to also admit that the more that I learn and go along this route the more that I have to become okay with spending more money on my food.
I've never had a problem spending money on food. Obviously budgets are real. But every time I've ever grown or picked my own food I thought, "Dang this is really hard and I'm not complaining about how much berries cost from now on."
Same goes with food additives. Unfortunately to use real ingredients and have a high turnover of quality product made in small batches that can be bought before it goes bad... costs more than adding crap to the food that makes it taste good while preserving its shelf life.
It's just the sad truth.
I've heard people argue that it's cheaper to eat simple foods but it's not always the case.
Sometimes it's true. Rice and beans bought in bulk and made from scratch (dry beans, not canned!) is a damn cheap meal.
But if you're talking about cheese and meats it's honestly more expensive to buy the higher quality stuff then the lesser quality stuff.
But this is your food. This is your nourishment. This is what is growing your children's bodies.
So while I care about how processed an item is... and I care about weather or not it is organic.. and there are a lot of things I care about...
The truth is that I can be a lot more relaxed about those things when I'm being a real stickler to avoid food additives. And the beautiful thing is that even if you choose ONE thing to be strict about, the others typically go hand in hand.
If you're eliminating food additives you're avoiding most the process stuff as well. And vice versa.
Comment below and tell me what your food rules are!
I'm all about having good intentions. I think it's really important.
And yet at the same time intention does no good without action.
I have to admit I have these insights as I laid awake worrying about the election results. Whoever you voted for is unimportant.
But did you know that 46% of all registered voters did not vote? So I wonder who they wanted to win. Because they might have had a desire or intention but they didn't take action. And I especially wonder who would have won if they had.
Now to share with you a little bit about my mind (and my crazy) I have to tell you that while I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about either candidate I have a weird deep-seated fear Donald Trump will get us involved in a war. This is probably not rational.
And I've actually seen people say that they were glad Hillary wasn't elected because she would have taken us into World War 3. So obviously people on either side have irrational fears about the opposite candidate.
None the less I woke up knowing he had won and felt like instead of working on my business I should move to the woods and become a doomsday prepper.
That's not rational. I realize that.
And the way that the intention plays in with this is that I'm in a phase in my business where I'm setting up a foundation for further growth.
I have my one-on-one clients, but I want to keep growing. I want to add more clients and I want to offer more opportunities to help people change their relationship with food. My next two steps are online group classes and a book. Those are my intentions.
And yet as I lay there freaking out thinking I shouldn't work on my business at all, I realized it didn't really make sense.
My business is my intention.
And instead of getting worried about something un-founded in reality, I need to take action to serve my intention.
And this IN TURN, led me to realize that I have certain habits and paths in my day-to-day life that I've set up... and that are NOT serving my intention.
Those day to day actions are not in alignment with my intention. Despite that fact that I've actually been WORRIED about my day to day habits... I hadn't actually changed them.
Thinking about those people who did not vote and the fact that they probably had an opinion made it really clear to me all of my action needs to be in alignment with my intention.
So... I cancelled my gym membership which isn't that close to my house. I printed out a coupon to the gym that is close to my house.
I transferred my youngest son from the farther away preschool to the closer preschool. I called that preschool and asked if siblings have priority. (Yes! They said that they would do that for my older son.)
This is where all of my actions are now aligning for the intention that I have.
Instead of just worrying about how far I"m driving or worrying about which school my kids should be in... I did what I could to start changing things.
In one day I did everything in my power to stop myself from driving all around town and to give myself the opportunity to be focused so that my actions can be in alignment with my intention.
Can I control everything? No. I still have to wait for my son's name to get called up on the wait list. But I did what I could to ensure that he'll get called on the wait list.
My actions are in alignment with my intention.
How does this relate to health? It all goes back to this:
should have could have would have.
Saying that you should lose weight or saying that you should stop eating sugar is an intention. But it's not action.
Reading a book about health? That's action.
Calling a friend to set a goal to go to the gym together? That's action.
Giving yourself an honest assessment of what you actually need to achieve your goals? That's action.
And that's really the first step. So often I see people believing the excuses they tell themselves, and believing the stories that justify their current behavior. And that will never align your actions with your intentions.
Just like I had to actually CHANGE my gym membership and CHANGE my son's preschool, despite the stories I was telling myself about what I "should" do... you have to CHANGE patterns to CHANGE there results.
I could have just focused on the preschool and not changed my gym membership because "I like my friends at the gym."
But I still would have been driving all over town and I wouldn't have been achieving my goal.
I have to get honest with myself about what would really serve me best in order to achieve my intention.
What's your intention?
What action will you take to make it reality?
I help busy, ambitious leaders to step off the emotional eating roller coaster, so they can lose weight and keep it off, still eat all the foods they love, and finally find the work life balance they crave.