I'm going to tell you something that you probably don't know about me...I played college sports.
I played on the University of Texas at Austin Ultimate Team.
What is Ultimate? It's more commonly referred to as Ultimate Frisbee, however "Frisbee" is technically a brand name so that's not the official name of the sport. The official name is just "Ultimate."
I like to get exercise and I love cooperative endeavors.
I am also the least competitive person that you know.
So I'll tell you a secret. I was only on the team the first year that they had been created. Even though I like to run, I didn't like body-slamming or landing myself on the ground to catch the disc.
Shortly thereafter the team became quite competitive and I'm sure that I never would have made the cut after that first year.
Why do I tell you this? I'm telling you this because that team captain had a motto that has stuck with me to this day.
Once in awhile people would be complaining about a call that a "ref" had made or something dirty that the other team had done that hadn't been caught.
And someone would inevitably say, "We should have won that game."
And that team captain always said, "Shoulda Woulda Coulda." Or she also liked to say, "Never should have always could have."
You know what that means? It means never say "should." Should is a waste of time.
I should exercise more.
I should eat more vegetables.
I should cut out sugar.
Don't even say it. Saying and doing are totally different things. Don't get me wrong everybody shays "should" sometimes.
I'm guilty of it! We all are! Talk does not equal action. Action is hard! Talk is easy.
Here's the other thing about should. Should implies guilt. And as you probably do know about me, I'm pretty anti guilt. It doesn't serve much purpose in modern day life.
If you want to veg out in front of the TV and eat a carton of ice cream go for it. But do not feel guilty afterwards!
Exercise not really fitting into your life right now? Don't feel guilty! It doesn't help!
Assess things and make a change when the time is right. Shoulda Woulda Coulda. Never should have always could have.
See how that applies? See how almost 15 years later from that one semester when I hardly even played that coach's info stuck in my head? It's brilliant.
Never should have always could have.
That's right I shouldn't have exercised I could have exercised.
I either chose to or chose not to.
We all fall into the "should have" trap. Modern day is full of guilt, full of busyness, full of lack of time. I totally get that.
That struggle is real. But you can change your attitude towards it, which I guarantee you will be an empowering thing to do.
Never should have, always could have.
Comment below and let me know how you can use this to shift things in your life!
I help busy, ambitious leaders to step off the emotional eating roller coaster, so they can lose weight and keep it off, still eat all the foods they love, and finally find the work life balance they crave.