Never should have, always could have.
I'm going to tell you something that you probably don't know about me...I played college sports.
I played on the University of Texas at Austin Ultimate Team.
What is Ultimate? It's more commonly referred to as Ultimate Frisbee, however "Frisbee" is technically a brand name so that's not the official name of the sport. The official name is just "Ultimate."
I like to get exercise and I love cooperative endeavors.
I am also the least competitive person that you know.
So I'll tell you a secret. I was only on the team the first year that they had been created. Even though I like to run, I didn't like body-slamming or landing myself on the ground to catch the disc.
Shortly thereafter the team became quite competitive and I'm sure that I never would have made the cut after that first year.
Why do I tell you this? I'm telling you this because that team captain had a motto that has stuck with me to this day.
Once in awhile people would be complaining about a call that a "ref" had made or something dirty that the other team had done that hadn't been caught.
And someone would inevitably say, "We should have won that game."
And that team captain always said, "Shoulda Woulda Coulda." Or she also liked to say, "Never should have always could have."
You know what that means? It means never say "should." Should is a waste of time.
I should exercise more.
I should eat more vegetables.
I should cut out sugar.
Don't even say it. Saying and doing are totally different things. Don't get me wrong everybody shays "should" sometimes.
I'm guilty of it! We all are! Talk does not equal action. Action is hard! Talk is easy.
Here's the other thing about should. Should implies guilt. And as you probably do know about me, I'm pretty anti guilt. It doesn't serve much purpose in modern day life.
If you want to veg out in front of the TV and eat a carton of ice cream go for it. But do not feel guilty afterwards!
Exercise not really fitting into your life right now? Don't feel guilty! It doesn't help!
Assess things and make a change when the time is right. Shoulda Woulda Coulda. Never should have always could have.
See how that applies? See how almost 15 years later from that one semester when I hardly even played that coach's info stuck in my head? It's brilliant.
Never should have always could have.
That's right I shouldn't have exercised I could have exercised.
I either chose to or chose not to.
We all fall into the "should have" trap. Modern day is full of guilt, full of busyness, full of lack of time. I totally get that.
That struggle is real. But you can change your attitude towards it, which I guarantee you will be an empowering thing to do.
Never should have, always could have.
Comment below and let me know how you can use this to shift things in your life!
Yup, that's right. It's not a typo. I meant UNhealthy. Let me explain.
My business began with six families taking my "Hand-on Health" class that was actually teaching the preschoolers about health! As fun as that was, I was clear that it was the moms and dads asking the questions that I wanted to serve... and that my own two kids were plenty for me.
So I began focusing on the struggles that families faced in eating healthy every day. From that endeavor were born my Picky Kids into Healthy Eaters and Beyond Meal Planning programs, both of which I'm super proud of!
My programs have touched many moms as well! For example, Natalie and Rachel right here in San Diego with me said:
Your email today made me smile and feel appreciated!
You know how it is... somedays you feel like you didn't accomplish anything even though you made 4+ meals, cleaned, did 4 loads of laundry, gave baths, put out fires, went grocery shopping...need I go on. So thank you for giving me a moment to realize I do accomplish a whole lot even I don't think I do. And reminding me that all of us stay at home moms are Awesome!!! You are awesome Alegra!!!
- Natalie in San Diego
Meal Planning for Healthy Family Harmony inspired me not to give up on meal planning and to find ways to outsource many of the tedious parts I usually get hung up on. I love that Alegra's program breaks it down so even a busy mama can reap the rewards of a well planned kitchen.
Definitely had an "aha" moment realizing that even a non-type A can do meal planning without having to always be on Pinterest or do it all by yourself. There are ways to tailor it to your unique lifestyle.
And as I've started taking one on one clients, I've been working in a more intimate way, helping women take baby steps for their health.
The real work of nutritional health...
...is not in a cleanse that you do for 3 or 7 days...
...it's not in a bar or shake that you eat...
...it's not in telling yourself you can never eat sugar again (and then chastising yourself when you inevitable do)...
...it's not in dieting until you reach a number on the scale...
...it's not in anything except EATING FOOD EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
And in helping other brave women who have had the courage to be vulnerable with me and share with me the negative relationship they have wit food based on doing all those things that can't ever work because they are actually unhealthy and unrealistic... I've rediscovered something.
I've rediscovered the negative relationship that I had with food 15 years ago.
Don't worry, I don't HAVE a negative relationship with food... I have just REMEMBERED that I USED to have one.
I've re-read books I read years ago.
I've had TWO books returned to me, which I read 15 years ago to help me with that relationship, and loaned out 5+ years ago.
Because 15 years ago I struggled with recurring throat and lung infections. The doctors prescribed antibiotics even though I tested negative for strep every time and they could not tell me what was causing them.
So I found an MD who practiced alternative health. He gave me better solutions for dealing with the infections... but had no advice on how to prevent them.
So I found an acupuncturist who was an amazing overall healer... and she told me to STOP EATING SUGAR.
(But in a really nice way, because she was such a nice lady.)
And at the time that SHOCKED ME. And to be honest, I did not do it. Because I was, actually, pretty addicted to sugar.
But I started working towards it. I started coming up with sugar alternatives, to do when I wanted sugar instead of sugar.
And it took a long time, and in the beginning it was a real struggle.
But slowly, with a lot of self work on what the heck that love of sugar was really about (beside the fact that dessert is delicious), I transformed that relationship with sugar to one that is really healthy.
Do I still eat sugar? Hell yes! I'd never tell anyone to stop eating anything they enjoy.
Can I get an Amen to that???
And yet, I had to shift that dynamic. It wasn't serving. It was contributing to recurring INFECTIONS! Those did slowly fade away with time as well.
And I still get to eat sugar!
Best part is that I now know when I actually want sugar because it tastes good or it's a celebration... and when I think I want it but I don't really want it.
And that freedom helps me to feel great everyday and eat exactly what I want while still taking great care of my health!
Do you want to feel great every day eating exactly what you want?
Book a complimentary, no obligation coaching session to learn more.
Call me fiber girl
Fiber. I want to talk about fiber.
Because for all the Fanatics selling their products and their programs...
Because for all of the scare tactics...
Because for all of the everything that you see out in the health news....
I have to say that I am disappointed that people don't talk about fiber very much.
Oh sure fiber is mentioned. We all know it's good for you. We all know you need it. We all know high fiber is considered healthy.
But I'm seriously thinking of rebranding myself at the fiber girl.
Because to me fiber is one of the most important thing that you can think about the health of your body (and your kids' bodies).
And I'm not talking about adding processed fiber to things. I'm talking about foods that naturally contain fiber.
This is one of my basic ways that I consider if my family and I are eating a healthy diet. Because honestly I can get all weirded out and crazy like everyone does from time to tim. And I start thinking "Oh my God, we're not eating enough fiber."
The solution is looking for fiber food throughout the day. The good news is that high fiber foods are the same as all the other healthy foods!
There are so many ways to slice it, but ultimately you are talking about whole grains, fruits and vegetables, being supplemented with a little bit of high-quality protein if you like eggs, salmon, et cetera.
And all those things besides the animal products? They all have FIBER.
When the basis of your diet is containing foods that are high in fiber across the board as a major staple of what you eat... you going to be making the right choices.
It's when you're getting into your refined carbohydrates, too much meat, too much other animal products, processed foods Etc cetera, then you're losing all that fiber, and then you're going to have some issues.
So what about you? Are you eating plenty of fiber? I don't even want to know what number. I don't keep track of things with numbers when it comes to food and I don't advise it. You have to have common sense and an overall healthy approach.
Let me know your thoughts on fiber!