This episode goes hand in hand with the last one, except this time I'm talking about your Inner Athena. We need our inner Warrior, it's essential to be able to fight and go into battle mode when we need to.
However, in modern twenty first century we are living in chronic stress, and our inner warriors are EXHAUSTED!!!
When this happens, we gain weight, not matter what we are trying to do to lose it! And, in fact, some of the things we try, like crash diets, actually push us more into battle mode, which is guaranteed to fail. Learn how to use your other inner Athena skill to find balance and lose weight in a way that lasts.
*I promise I will never share your email address with anyone.
How To "Have It All"
Balancing being the primary caregiver and growing a business and writing books is, well... it's tough to say the least.
Identify Your Needs
I've realized lately that I NEED time to be focused and productive. It is the reason I started a business in the first place! But even though I knew that was behind starting a business, I see that the opportunity to do my work in a focused, UNinterrupted environment is really a core need I have... and one having young kids who are only in school part of the day really impedes upon!
I struggle with how best to use my childfree time... do I take care of myself? Do I run errands (that are way easier on my own of course)? Do I try to buckle down and get my work done?
And of course, when I'm talking about just a few hours per day, those hours go FAST!!! Just making sure I exercise take up a third of that time!!! And, exercise, I've come to realize, is also a non-negotiable!!!
Of course as someone who has a lot of ambition for both my family and my business..and my self! It is really hard to take care of all three to the level that I desire.
Oh, especially without cutting into my sleep!!!!!!
Yes, it's complicated.
Observe How Things Affect You
I definitely don't have all the answers. What I find is that I can only do some of those at once.
There are time I cut into my sleep, and then realize that makes me feel shitty.
There are times I quit exercising, and then realize that makes me feel shitty.
There are times I do not focus on work, and then realize that makes me feel shitty
There are time I don't do self care, and then realize that makes me feel shitty!
The best plan I have right now is to let go of the crap I really don't care about - no clean house, no fancy meals - just tried and true recipes, no big parties. (Don't get me wrong... I LOVE PARTIES!!! I just have to put hosting them on hold for a while... I do a pool party once a year in the summer, and that is easy since all everyone does is hang out by the pool, but otherwise, they have been temporarily arrested.)
And then, honestly, I cycle through my other priorities... so I don't ignore one area entirely, I just give it up a little until I need to bring it back.
I walk instead of doing classes (until I crave the strength and yoga).
I work less (until I want to work more).
I eat cheese and crackers and carrots and dip (until I need something more grown up).
I stay up a bit too late (until I get crabby and go to bed earlier).
Well, you get the idea!
And Reality Check...
I know this isn't necessarily the most inspiring approach, but it's the most realistic. Sometimes we just need a reality check. There is so much bullshit out there about how you can have it all...and I think you can. But you can't necessarily have it all at one time, and that's ok.
Enjoy the Ebb and Flow
It's actually one reason why writing my books has been so awesome for me right now! I love the cycle of book writing. I do the writing - that usually comes in bursts of inspiration and the journals are usually written in a week or two! (My longer books sometimes come in several periods of inspiration spread out over time.)
Then, there is a period of handing a lot of work over to others... that feels great! The content is written, and it starts to transform into an actual book with the help of others!
Then the tedious finalization... I look forward to someday outsourcing this, but for now I want to have the final say so I have to be part of the last steps :)
Then... the launch! This gets exciting again and so I'm re-energized!!!
Then... time to rest... before I take on another project :)
Get your heart inspired!
I wanted to share a few books that I have loved over the years! These are books that I have been going to for years, and keep enjoying them every time. They go right in line with my forthcoming book, The Kitchen Witch, and will inspire you in ritual and cooking alike!
This book gives many specific recipes and instructions on how to make a wide variety of teas, for health and pleasure. I mean who doesn't love tea? (Dude, if you are saying "me," then it might be hard to be friends!)
Healing With Whole Foods by Paul Pitchford
This encyclopedic book on healing is based on Traditional Chinese Medicine. Okay, it may not really have an "inspiring" feel - it's a bit of a tome, but it is SO full of useful information and is like an intro course to healing with whole foods based on the philosophies of health in Chinese Medicine.
The Language of Flowers
This is a very small book, but lists the traditional European meanings of various flowers and plants. It is so fun to read and get inspiration on what the flowers say when you pick them or give them!
The Herbal Healing Deck
I'm obsessed with this deck of oracle cards! I LOVE the artwork and the insights are always helpful. It's been a powerful way for me to connect with plant energy and think about plant spirits and just connect with plants! I'm not much of a green thumb, so I'd rather think of them in their wild habitat! Haha.
The Aromatherapy Handbook
This is the best resource I have found on uses for essential oils. The book details various ways to use essential oils for therapeutic aromatherapy, as well health, cleaning, and gift giving, among others. It is an awesome reference book and makes it so easy to make healthy oils and beauty products.
Alegra Loewenstein is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. By generating these funds - at no cost to you - she can continue to offer free and fun content on her site!
The BEST Cookbooks on my shelf
I've been thinking about the fact that my signature program with my clients is called "Love Every Bite" and yet I have never really told you what kind of bites that I LOVE!
Now, when the Kitchen Witch comes out you'll find out a lot more about that, since there is a whole section of sort-of recipes :)
But in the mean time I thought I'd share my all time favorite cookbooks and why I love them so much!!!
First, though, a caveat. Several of these cookbooks are vegetarian, but I thought you should know... I'm not actually vegetarian. I was vegetarian for many years, so partly I have cookbooks from that time period, but the truth is that I like to eat mostly vegetarian at home, and when I do add meat, it's usually salmon that I cook in a pan or tuna our of a can.
This is because I'm used to cooking vegetarian, my husband eats fish but not meat, and I'm super weird about germs from fish and meat in my kitchen. Also, it's always easy to ADD a bit of meat to a dish, if that is your preference.
So, without further ado...
My favorite cookbook at the moment is a new addition to my shelf...
However, I also almost never follow a recipe, and with 4 versions of the same recipe it is very easy to mash them up and make my own unique version, and still have it turn out great!!
Also, the recipes so far have been easy to follow, not too time consuming or complicated, delicious and nutritious!!!
Another fairly new addition to my cookbook collection is...
It really makes on the fly cooking way less stressful.
Also, I know that the recipes will be easy to shop for - I won't have to hunt around wondering if the store carries certain ingredients.
This is really a great solution for a busy person like me (or you) to have on hand. The recipes are pretty no nonsense, a great selection of sandwiches, some casseroles, lots of quick things. It's not a dinner party kind of cookbook, but it is amazing at weeknight dinners, fast lunches, and making the empty pantry seem not that empty!
Now to some of my old standbys that have bee used and loved for many years.
This is my go to book for dinner parties!!! The recipes are not hard to make, but they are delicious and turn out well every time. That is a rare combination!!!
One of the show stoppers was the vegetable, feta, and pesto parcels...delicious vegetables packed into filo pastry. (I didn't exactly follow the recipe of course... but they were delicious none the less!)
This cookbook is truly international in its dishes, but it does them well. The meals are light, flavorful, and present well on the table. A mainstay in my kitchen!!!
My favorite book for fast weeknight dinners...
Plus... you can always grate some cheese on top if it would improve the meal ;)
Vegan Express was a passed on cookbook fro ma friend who ended up with two copies, and I'm SO grateful! Both to her aunt for giving her the same book twice, and to her for passing it on to me!
You'll notice a theme here: The recipes here come together quickly, are fresh and flavorful. The contents are organized by major ingredient just as much as type of food: protein (tofu, tempeh, seitan), grains, beans, noodles, pizza/quesadillas/wraps, salads, soups, sauces, and sweets. The way she breaks this down and clusters the recipes also makes it easy when you haven't been to the store to find something yummy to cook in a pinch.
The pizzas/quesadillas/wraps section is particularly helpful, since she explains that these methods are interchangeable, so you can use the toppings/filling from one recipe with a different kind of bread to hold it, if that's what you prefer (or have on hand).
She also includes a "recipe not required" section and just gives a whole bunch more ideas!! Now that is what I call inspiration!
The last cookbook is also one I go to for inspiration just as much as actual recipes...
For example, The Sneaky Chef hides a bunch of zucchini and cauliflower in her mac and cheese. So if I'm making mac and cheese, I'll go look up her recipe and figure out if I can either quickly grate some extra veggies in or use some puree. Since I don't tend to follow recipes anyway, I might not use cauliflower, but opt for some cooked butternut squash or whatever I have on hand. The idea is to get inspiration.
Well, that's the review of the most used cookbooks in my kitchen in the past few years. I'd love to know what you think or what YOUR favorite cookbooks are!!!!
Alegra Loewenstein & www.healthyfamilyharmony.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Clicking these or any other links to amazon from my site provides me with income so I can continue to create free and fun content on my site!
I want to challenge something right now.
It might be uncomfortable. I want to challenge the idea that portion control is a healthy way to eat.
Because I understand, as a total control freak my self, the temptation to try to control what I eat.
(The funny thing is that I used to consider my self "Type B." I actually thought I was super laid back, didn't worry too much about things, could go with the flow.
However, having children made me realize that I'm actually extremely controlling! It's just that before kids I was successfully controlling most of my world... and then I had kids and have been basically white-knuckling the edge of the table since they were born, staring in amazement because my mind is blown that I am so unable to control things now.
Sooooo.... it was more like I could be all relaxed and "Type B" because I was so damn good at being Type A that I didn't even know it!)
Also, I used to try to control what I ate. And, interestingly, for a long time that was also out of my control. And it was a real challenge in my life.
The things in my life that felt shitty (in hindsight, basically all the things I could not control), made me want to eat sugar.
I'd try to NOT eat sugar, fail, and then just eat more sugar.
And in my business now I connect with many women who share that they feel that way about many other types of food as well, sometimes all food.
Sometimes they find that portion control has helped them maintain a healthy weight.
However, there are two ways to go about portion control.
The first way, the more common way, is that some external measurement determines the portion. Whether calories, volume/weight, carbs, points, or whatever, this can backfire. It's useful to learn what an average portion might be. But if you are hungry, you may need more than average, and if you are not hungry, you may need less than average.
The second, more empowering, way is to trust your body as the guide. When your body is telling you what the portion should be, it will be just the right amount. And the beautiful thing is that when your body is able to get exactly what it needs to be satisfied, you are able to ENJOY the portions, not simply control them.
It is my mission to help women create this holistic whole body connection in a playful, non-judgmental, and supportive environment, so they can enjoy all the foods they love.
Why can't I stop eating sugar?
Listen. Here's the deal. I STRUGGLED with this question for YEARS.
Here are some quotes from old journals:
The list goes on and one. Over a period of years I would write this stuff on a regular basis. Interspersed with other things like...
And for the most part I didn't know WHY I couldn't stop. I didn't understand WHY when I resolved to do things, when I TRIED to quite eating sugar, I failed.
I was smart. I was independent. I had a great life.
And yet... I could. not. stop. eating. sugar.
But then there were glimpses into understanding why I could not stop eating sugar, that I just didn't go deep enough with because I didn't understand they were related.
"I had a cry-fest-pity-party tonight. Then I drove to New Braunfels and back. Then I bought soda, candy, and cigarettes on my mom's gas card. I'm sad & lonely & tired of meaningless relationships & sick of love story fairy tales. I want to sleep until it's warm outside. I want peace in my home. I want someone to cuddle with at night. I want to fuck. I want to cry. I want ____."
It is exactly that desire, that looking for a fairy tale - because it was MY OWN fairy tales I was sick of, that desire to connect in an emotional and physical way that I was stuffing myself with sugar to numb myself from.
I was the one thinking that a relationship would be some kind of fairy tale. I was so deeply duped by the silly stories in our society, and yet simultaneously unwilling to accept them. No wonder I was frustrated in so many ways.
And, after lots of self work and reflection, I can say that the longer quote, where I talk about bigger picture things, is the GOLD NUGGET (and, ugh, I feel dirty that I used my mom's gas card - I almost wanted to edit it out, but decided to leave it in, and then, kind of laughingly, why is THAT the part that still creeps me out?)
Because it is EXACTLY that bigger picture that was the reason behind the sugar binges!! They did not feel related at all back then. I had no idea. I was also in denial when my doctor of Chinese medicine suggested as such. First I denied I had a problem with sugar (despite the fact that I was writing about sugar incessantly in my journals). Then I told her I didn't care - I didn't WANT to stop eating sugar. But luckily she gently persisted with the message and I eventually acknowledged this as truth.
And yet... as amazing as she was as a healer, she only pointed me in the right direction with the sugar-desire connection. I still had to fumble my way through figuring it out, which I eventually did. And I did this so successfully that it feels like a different me back then.
I can also say that I truly have to go to my journals to remember that self hate, that body hate, that shame and feeling like a failure.
(That's not to say I'm in some perfect life now - we never are, but I am much better at recognizing my own bullshit stories and stopping myself mid-thought to reset. Focusing on my wrinkles, my post-children jiggly bits, etc etc... well it happens, but I know it's a load of shit even though I still feel it, and so I just try to honor the feeling while I recognize that it is coming from a bullshit story.)
Plus my journals NOW are so full of positive affirmations you'd really not recognize the author!!!
So... if you are wondering why you can't stop eating sugar... then ask yourself what your deeper desires are. Or, better yet, buy my journal and answer the questions to help guide you to that answer!
Eating for The Trees!
There are many things in life in which I like to take a very very big picture, cosmos kind of look at things.
The way I eat is one of those things.
For a long time, I thought about the environmental impact in a strictly numbers kind of way. How do I minimize impact? I became vegetarian at 15 (though, admittedly, in the beginning that was more of whim).
I had been an environmentalist since a young age. Encouraged by my school, and a natural tree hugger, I understood that eating plants took less of toll on the environment. Eating lots of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains was good for my health AND good for the earth! There is a lot of science to back this up.
I also had a vegan stint in college. (But then I also had a no onions and no garlic stint in college.)
And at the time all of this seemed very "big picture."
But, as you likely know, I struggled for a long time with eating sugar, lots of sugar, and in an unhealthy way. I also had a lot of guilt and judgement around food - both towards myself for "failing" to "quit" sugar, but also towards others for "failing" to be as "big picture" with their diets. (Wow, that was a lot of quotes.)
That year I was vegan? It's seriously a wonder that I have any friends that knew me before that lasted through that year. I try to block it from my mind, so I can mostly only imagine how self righteous I was.
Plus, being so strict was alienating. It made parties and family gatherings hard. BLESS my mom for being so accommodating and catering to my various diets over the years!!! I mean she used to cook me whatever she was cooking minus whatever it was I was not eating!!!!
It took a lot of self discovery and letting go of rigid perspectives for me to move beyond the rules that were not actually serving me.
Also, suffering through 7 months of nausea and vomiting in my first pregnancy was enough to make me realize I'd eat ANYTHING to make it stop. I mean I would have hunted a deer and painted my face with its blood if it would have gotten rid of the NVP. Meat, unfortunately, did not help, because nothing helped. None the less, the experience cracked the door open much wider.
I had actually already decided that a bit of quality meat was probably the healthiest, especially for me, since I don't tend to crave much protein. Meat is nutrient dense and very nourishing. The whole chicken noodle soup effect is real. I had read a bit of Traditional Chinese Medicine, and they tout the same: modest, quality meat consumption as part of a plant based diet is often the most healthful. Still, I didn't want to eat animals.
(Except for the one time at my friend's wedding in Ohio, and I had WAY too much champagne. Back at the magical farm house where all her friends were staying, with a kitchen packed with all kinds of things to nosh on... the only thing that looked at all appealing was a giant roasted turkey!! That was the real beginning, and to this day the only meat that I honestly enjoy eating a "chunk" of is roasted turkey! A new traditiona i nthe life of the mostly vegetarian was to eat turkey on Thanksgiving day.)
Roll forward to my current life. Today was Thanksgiving. My mom made a turkey, I made a vegetarian "Neatloaf." We had mashed potatoes, tempeh gravy, sweet potatoes, root vegetables, grains and greens salad, Brussels sprouts, two kinds of cranberry sauce, corn bread stuffing, and a pickle tray. Everyone loved the Neatloaf! But, of course, I ate some turkey, too :)
And my dad, who eats healthy mostly because of my mom, told me after dinner, "I think being vegetarian is really the healthiest way to eat." And I told him, "Maybe only 90% vegetarian." And he said, "You're right. You've lightened up in your old age."
First of all LOL!!! Love it that my dad is calling me old! And second, what a nice middle ground, for the more meat and potatoes guy to be admiring me and for me to be meeting him in the middle!
Looking at the big picture, though, what I mean is this: Yes, it's really good to eat lots of fruit and vegetables. But that is not something that surprises most people. Eating a plant based diet is good for your health AND the health of the environment. However, if you eat ANY diet with rigid rules and lots of judgement towards ANYONE, that actually is NOT healthy for you.
So, sure, aim for a lot of plants in your diet. It will make you feel good, help you live a healthier life, maybe even allow you to live longer, and certainly can help you lose weight. But choose the fruits and vegetables you really love. Have fun with whole grains. And enjoy meat and sugar!
The last piece of the puzzle is that I believe that taking the absolute best care of yourself you can will naturally lend itself to taking good care of the earth. Because people who eat well and feel well naturally gravitate towards choices in their life that uplift the world, and the truth is there are MANY ways to do that.
(Oh, and since we are talking environmentalism, also VOTING for strong environmental protections & protectors is essential!)
This is something I've spent a lot of time thinking about because I want to know how to refer to my clients in a way that actually makes sense for them - here are my thoughts on all the approaches I've tried (and the one I created!) I hope it's helpful!!!
I use emeals. They give a two week free trial. I think it was $59 per year for a dinner plan (you can add on breakfast, lunch, special occasion, etc), and lots to choose from (kid friendly, vegetarian, paleo, etc). The recipes are all pretty quick.
It is somewhat seasonal (lots of squash and pomegranates on menus lately - yum!)
I love that I don't have to think with this one!
I choose the recipes I want to use as I enter the store and it makes my grocery list, with pantry staples separated out for easy shopping. The only down side is the app takes a few minutes to open - it always wants to refresh. Sometimes it fails to open at all, and then you are stuck winging it (see MY meal planning program below to get you through those days).
Also the web version is not interactive, you have to get the grocery list for all 7 recipes for the week - so just use the app.
I also noticed it saves me money at the grocery store (which is a claim they make as well)... as long as I don't just start throwing random things in (which I still sometimes do).
PLAN TO EAT
I've used Plan to Eat, but it requires a bit of computer time to devote to it. People who avidly use Pinterest seem to have great luck with it - they just move from Pinterest to Plan to Eat and pop them in the calendar.
You are completely in control of all the recipes each week. The service combines them into an easy to use format to schedule on your calendar and then compiles a grocery list for the days you select, which is mostly cohesive to put onions with onions, etc, but sometimes onions will appear more than once - not a huge deal, just a bug of the system to be aware of.
But if you don't want to go around pinning recipes, then this is NOT the plan for you. It takes time, time that I was never able to get into my routine.
It is only $40/year; they also give a 30 day free trial.
There is also my fellow Boss Mom, Sam Rodgers' Eating Clean Cooking Dirty!!!
I've used her plan before - it is all clean eating, with several options to choose from. It is based on the premise of one prep day that is longer than other days, then everything is basically ready to go when you want to eat it.
She integrates all the recipes into one set of instructions. She is seriously amazing at this!!!! It is like following ONE recipe, but at the end you are set for the week! She is as crazy about making yummy and easy to follow meal plans as I am about assimilating every self help book I've ever read into my coaching programs!
This is great if you want to streamline your time in the kitchen - it's not as good if you like to improvise while you cook. i.e. If you can't or don't like to follow recipes strictly, this is probably not the plan for you; messing with one recipe is ok, but messing with 5+ at once may not be a good idea.
She gives a free week to try, and then her monthly cost is fantastic for the quality of her product.
Finally I also have a meal planning book, but mine is actually ALL about how to have a plan...and how to improvise when you need to!!! Because I'm a master at improvising in the kitchen :) ...
But you still need a plan.
You can get a free week of sample meal plans and also an introduction to my approach (basically break it down into simple steps and commit to them one at a time.)
My approach works in conjunction with other meal planning tools! I use emeals AND I improvise :) Haha
Did you Know I'm a Poet?
Some of you may know this, but I know my business coach was surprised; I have an MFA in Creative Writing (with an emphasis in Poetry!)
When I first graduated I always felt BAD that I wasn't writing more poetry, but I remember reading a book about "being a writer" and it was all about staying true to the passion and it ended up having kind of the opposite effect where I was like "fuck that I'm only writing if there is audience for it!"
Haha, I guess my business mind was coming out before I even knew it :)
None the less, reading that book and my reaction to it was actually really inspiring because it actually freed me from writing what "I thought I should be writing" because of my degree to writing whatever the hell I wanted to!!!
For a long time I only wrote letter to friends!! Long, intimate letter to my lovely long-term (one 10 years and one 15 years) pen pals :)
But it was this freedom that has made the writing part of my business SUCH a joy and pleasure, and it was all the sweeter to complete my book and move towards publication because of this history with writing.
So...What makes my forthcoming book "Emotional Eating Detox A 21-Day Inspirational Journal to Understand Your Cravings, End Over Eating, and Find Freedom From Dieting Forever" different than other health books? It actually has nothing to do with food! You can eat WHATEVER you want!! It's all about the OTHER stuff going on that causes you to eat in a way that is stressful and makes you feel like crap! Check out my book here!
How's that for creative writing?