I want to challenge something right now.
It might be uncomfortable. I want to challenge the idea that portion control is a healthy way to eat. Because I understand, as a total control freak my self, the temptation to try to control what I eat. (The funny thing is that I used to consider my self "Type B." I actually thought I was super laid back, didn't worry too much about things, could go with the flow. However, having children made me realize that I'm actually extremely controlling! It's just that before kids I was successfully controlling most of my world... and then I had kids and have been basically white-knuckling the edge of the table since they were born, staring in amazement because my mind is blown that I am so unable to control things now. Sooooo.... it was more like I could be all relaxed and "Type B" because I was so damn good at being Type A that I didn't even know it!) Also, I used to try to control what I ate. And, interestingly, for a long time that was also out of my control. And it was a real challenge in my life. The things in my life that felt shitty (in hindsight, basically all the things I could not control), made me want to eat sugar. I'd try to NOT eat sugar, fail, and then just eat more sugar. And in my business now I connect with many women who share that they feel that way about many other types of food as well, sometimes all food. Sometimes they find that portion control has helped them maintain a healthy weight. However, there are two ways to go about portion control. The first way, the more common way, is that some external measurement determines the portion. Whether calories, volume/weight, carbs, points, or whatever, this can backfire. It's useful to learn what an average portion might be. But if you are hungry, you may need more than average, and if you are not hungry, you may need less than average. The second, more empowering, way is to trust your body as the guide. When your body is telling you what the portion should be, it will be just the right amount. And the beautiful thing is that when your body is able to get exactly what it needs to be satisfied, you are able to ENJOY the portions, not simply control them. It is my mission to help women create this holistic whole body connection in a playful, non-judgmental, and supportive environment, so they can enjoy all the foods they love.
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Last week I did a guided meditation at a new moon goddess circle. It was a guided meditation to go through a variety of symbolic visualizations, and after we experienced the guided meditation, we were then informed what each visual symbolized.
It started with a harbor, which represents my social life. I visualized three different kind of boats, which makes sense because I like a lot of types of social experiences. Then the boat we got on represents how we view ourselves... lucky for me, mine was a luxury yacht!!!! Hahaha! So on and on it went, and I had a positive experience through the variety of visualizations, with no major surprises when what each visualization was supposed to represent was revealed. At the very end of the meditation, we are visualizing laying in a natural space - mine was under a real tree in my grandfather's (now my parents') backyard, and "One of God's creatures comes to visit." Not surprising my totem animal came to visit: butterflies. They also had a message for me. And my message was... Belly button??? Yes. It was. My message was "Belly button." I always knew I was quirky girl, but what the? Ok, actually... it makes total sense because I've been thinking in terms of what the body might symbolize in our life, and so I knew that my message was not SIMPLY Belly Button, but rather a question of what Belly Button means! So I've had the chance to contemplate this, which is of course the point of a guided meditation, to keep thinking about what insights I gained afterward. And a belly button is interesting. It is actually a scar. It's a scar from being disconnected from your source of life!!!!! But it's also a symbol that I have a mother; that we all have a mother. It's an opportunity to remember where I came from. It's a symbol of a truly amazing organ: the umbilical cord. The umbilical cord is a twisted rope that takes the blood vessels from a baby and winds them around with the blood vessels from the mother (via the placenta), and the blood vessels get so closely intertwined that the nourishment from the mother's blood is transferred to the growing baby's blood!!! It's truly amazing. And once disconnected, the veins that give a child life are simply absorbed into the body. Even that can be symbolic, that we take the source of life from OTHER and we begin to nourish ourselves. So I'll take that message! I love that message, in fact. I love what Belly Button says to me. What does it say to you?????
I just want to say this: YOU ARE STRESSED OUT!
Stress is THE most common thing I see that drives people to feel like crap. WE don’t even re alize we are stressed. Because it begins with the new job. Then that feels manageable… and then our whoever does whatever. Okay, well that’s under control. Then someone starts asking us favors. Then our car has issues. And this is how stress creeps up on us, one step at a time, in a culture where it’s really no “OKAY” to relax, take a break, slow down, and if you are a woman, to say no. And the stress hormones make it impossible for us to make good decisions. It actually shuts down that part of your brain. SO our stress makes us eat bad. And our stress makes it feel impossible to meal plan. And our stress make us think we can never change anything, much less change everything we want to. So we get stuck. We rely on the old habits more. We get more take out. If we want to make change ,we beat ourselves up for not doing it… or for trying and failing. It’s a painful place to live, stressed out, eating junk, and beating ourselves up over it all. The beautiful thing is that we don’t have to “add one more thing” onto our busy lives to change things. We don’t have to go to the gym every day, or eat some special protein bar, or give up all the foods we love. In fact we need MORE of what we love. What we REALLY love. Because we don’t get enough of that. When we choose what we LOVE, and allow ourselves to enjoy it, we actually make more space to start making healthier choices that make us feel our best. And slowly, over a few weeks or months, we can eliminate the things that feel bad, and add the things that feel good. And we will lose weight, and enjoy what we are eating! And we can do it FOREVER. I specialize in helping women overcome emotional eating and sugar addiction, and I overcame that battle myself. Stress leads us to choose junk and sweets, then sweets make us eat more sweets. You have to get off the hormone roller coaster that is driving your brain right now. And to do that you have to start with stress management. Then you add a dose of forgiveness, And you focus on counting joy (not calories). What would this would like in your life? "Friday morning I weighed in at 177 and over the weekend I only walked maybe 4-5 miles total (not exercising just out and about) and I wasn't dieting. I ate what I wanted and this morning I stepped on the scale expecting to see 180 but shocked it said 176! Yes I should be happy but something's off here and I gotta figure out how.”
Does this sound familiar? I can tell you when my clients first come to me (the ones that are coming to me for weight loss), this is what they worry about. They worry about a few pounds up or down. The truth is, anything under 5 pounds is irrelevant. I don't say that to diminish losing 5 pounds, I say that keep expectations realistic... 5 pounds weight loss does not mean the same thing as the scale measured 5 pounds different in a week. Your weight fluctuates several pounds in a day. Water intake, how big of a poop you took, and other basic functions can be measured in a day. Personally... I think the scale is deceptive. You will know if you are losing weight or not. You will know based first on how you feel and later how you look. I encourage all my clients to get rid of their scales! Literally, gone & out of the house! It's a big mentality shift, but can be extremely freeing. But then, I also discourage counting of calories/macros/anything else, and focusing on quality and how your body feels as the guide. When I was in the peak of my sugar addiction, I had extra weight. The few attempts I made to count sugar grams or calories were not long lived. It’s not something I could ever do, personally. That being said, the weight, while disconcerting (especially when others commented on it, as many did), was not my primary reason for changing my habits. I had acute but recurring throat infections that drove that change. However I do understand the attraction to counting, and I did attempt it, especially with grams of sugar… it feels like something you can control. When you can’t even control the sugar that you eat, you can count it. But ultimately, it does not usually last as a means to limiting the amount of food or sugar that you eat. In my experience, it is simply a distraction from whatever the real problem is. In my case, it was the emotions behind the sugar binging. In almost all my clients' lives, it is either an emotion, a habit, or pattern. (There ARE people who simply need nutrition education, but those are not the people I meet. If this is you or someone you know, counting can be a means to learn appropriate portions. However, if you don't move to a whole foods based diet, counting remains just a distraction.) Getting rid of your scale and giving up counting calories is not the mainstream approach, but it is an approach that most people can really live with forever. One day, even a whole weekend, will not actually affect your weight. It is what you do 90% of the time that creates your body. Stay focused on the long game! Stay focused on the quality of your diet, identifying the patterns that are not serving you, and you can let go of counting. Sound scary? Want to know more about how it can work for you? I believe every woman can easily live at her natural weight without effort or difficulty.
Sometimes, though there is a period of mourning who we are NOT, mourning that we are NOT what the media says is the perfect woman. Even skinny women have to mourn this – because no one is the media’s ideal image. However, we CAN live at our own natural, healthy weight, with ease and lightness of being, while eating what we want, when want, and feeling great while doing it. Part of that formula is of course making sure we eat quality healthy food and reserve treats for true enJOYment. Curious? Book a chat alegra.acuityscheduling.com Yes, it's gluten free, dairy free, fat free, sugar free, and sodium free... and it tastes like crap.1/27/2017 As part of my business, I receive a lot of inquiries from people who are looking for help with their diet. And it is VERY COMMON that I interact with people who are eating low fat, low sodium, sugar free, low carb, gluten free, vegetarian. Yes. ALL of those. At the same time.
While I wish I could help each and every person that I exchange an interaction with (whether social media or other apps), the truth is that most of those people are actually looking for someone to HELP them continue that approach. And that's not me. I don't advocate eliminating most things. Sure, of course, I think it's important to eat quality, wholesome foods. But one of the most important things is eliminating the CRAP from your diet, including "TASTING like crap." So, in the spirit of eating the things we love... what is YOUR favorite food? Let me know in the comments below! |
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