I’ve had two bad days in a row. I dropped from a place of feeling fantastic, focused, and energetic, and suddenly I was confused, crabby, and sullen.
What the heck was going on? Well, first, I was about to get my period. I just felt crappy. Alright, I can acknowledge that. I took some ibuprofen to help with that. Doesn’t make it go away, but helps. But there was something else. I had hit a business next step that was TOTALLY FREAKING ME OUT. I know for my work I need to get technical. Ugh. I need to deal with pixels, funnels, webinars, automation, and probably learn at least two new tools. I do not thrive on learning new tools. Some people do. I don’t. It always stresses me out. So to be facing this new territory was a MAJOR point of stress for me. Not was… IS! I still need to take care of all these items. I took that awareness of my stress, and I wrote down on my to do list “Make a to do list for funnel.” Then I stared at it. I SERIOUSLY wanted to write the funnel to dos. But I knew I couldn’t do it at 10 o’clock at night. I had to shut my notebook and know that I’d take care of it the next day. And I tell you, I really wanted to eat sugar as I went through this process. I wanted to AVOID facing the problem by eating sugar. I wanted to DISTRACT myself from the problem by eating sugar. I wanted to FEEL BETTER than I did when I was facing the problem. But I didn’t really do it because I was totally AWARE of it. That is because of the system I’ve gone through, the basis of my program, Love Every Bite, created from my own experience and my interactions with clients. I did eat some dried cherries. It was just enough to give me that sweet experience, and with awareness I could actually talk to myself “Alegra, you are stressed. You will actually feel bad if you eat a bar of chocolate. What you really need to do is go to bed and get more information about this source of stress tomorrow.” And if YOU want that awareness and ability to apply your own self-control in a rational, not-at-all-stressful way, my program is for you. Are you unsure if a program like this will actually help you? Book a complimentary clarity call. These calls are designed to help you work through your situation and get CLARITY on the obstacles. Then, if I know I can help you, we can talk further about what that might look like. Alegra.acuityscheduling.com
0 Comments
When we lack consistency, we feel out of control. When we feel out of control, we take desperate measure to control things. Okay, so why am I saying this? What is my point here? Because whether you are feeling fear surrounding the crazy political anger right now, or whether you are feeling doubt about your ability to lose the weight or stop turning to sugar at times of stress, if you don't have a PLAN in place to create a life that feels safe and secure and consistent, you will feel out of control and you will take desperate measures to stop that feeling. Alright, Alegra, fine. But what is the answer? Well, luckily, the answer is simple! (Which does not mean it's easy.) The answer lies in creating a PLAN to take ACTION that creates the environment you need to feel consistent, safe, and secure. If it is the political climate you fear, find a way to voice your opinion that feels meaningful. Whether that is calling your representative, writing postcards to the white house, creating a discussion/support group with friends, signing petitions, or otherwise finding a way to champion what you believe in, you will break the spell of fear and anxiety through ACTION. If it is your relationship with sugar, if you binge on sugar in times of stress, anxiety, fear, or loneliness, you also need to create a PLAN in order to take ACTION to get to a better place. Finding a support person, like one on one coaching with me - or someone else you know of, creating a support relationship with your spouse, or getting your best friend on board with you, will create a consistent environment to change the patterns that are sabotaging you. If you know you need support to create a plan and begin taking action to end the sugar binging, let's talk. alegra.acuityscheduling.com I feel so blessed that I recognize my sugar "addiction" in my early twenties, and that I found the help I needed to actually get to the root of my emotional eating in order to change those patterns for good.
Do I still have days I want to wolf down a pint of ice cream in one sitting? Of course! But do I do it? Nope. I may turn to a scoop of ice cream out of boredom or stress, but I stop after the first serving. I had left a borderline abusive relationship - my first long term relationship, and that boyfriend had come from a family where the example his parents set was to be rude and hurtful to each other. So he said critical and hurtful things... he was "just being sarcastic" according to him, but it hurt me and I took it all seriously. I felt lonely and confused coming out of that relationship, and while I had always loved sweets and enjoyed eating them, it was the first couple years I'd been away from home and I just kept turning to them over and over. Add into that mix I had ideal goals for myself and the world and had become vegan... and it's a lot easier to find vegan sweets and junk food than it is to find nourishing balanced normal foods (especially back then). So feeling I was automatically "healthy" by my restrictive diet also made me think I had a free pass. I was reading through some old journals when I had first left that relationship and become vegan (all in the same few months), and I was writing things like the following... these are direct quotes from the things I actually wrote in my journal back in my early 20s. EAT LESS SUGAR!!!! I'm so addicted. I felt kind of sick again today. Too many snacks and junk food. I was in a bad mood this evening. I ate too much processed food today. I got heartburn and felt shitty. And of course my new year's resolution many years in a row was: "Stop eating so many sweets." Pretty sure I just copied that from one journal to the next over several years! I'm not going to embarrass myself right now with any of the poems I wrote.... luckily those were not about sugar, or I might feel I have to!!!! So why is it so hard to stop eating sweets, even though we tell ourselves over and over that we are going to??? Because it's not the sweets... it's what is behind the sweets. I had to figure out the BIG PICTURE before I could finally get to a healthy place with the sweets. I continued to eat too many sweets, make myself feel sick, and judge myself for doing it... If you have felt yourself on this cycle, then get the support you need from me or someone else who can help you recognize the big picture and hold you uncountable to begin shifting your perception and habits. So you, too, can ENJOY that one scoop of ice cream, without eating the whole pint, and without feeling guilty. Discover my 5 secrets to end emotional eating by clicking here. I've been reading through some old journals recently.Whether this is part of my process of re-discovering myself that I pursued last year, or whether it is just synchronicity or serendipity or happenstance... it's been very enlightening, entertaining, and somewhat bizarre.
While of course I have forgotten some incidents and others come alive in my mind union re-reading... the parts about my sugar binging and overconsumption just seem... unreal. Even when I REMEMBER the incident, such as a time on study abroad when I when to the pastry shop and ate 4 pastries PLUS candy and then went to my homestay family and STUFFED myself on pizza despite being full of sweets, the fact that I could have done that seems so FAR AWAY from my reality now that it doesn't even seem like the same me. I've been both impressed and saddened by my own introspection. I was so young, and yet at the same time I had a profound amount of insight, and saddest part of all was the SUFFERING I recorded. I had a deep deep sadness in me. And that was a huge part of my addiction to sugar. I don't know if I'll ever really understand exactly where that sadness came from, though I'm sure that it was magnified dramatically by my long term boyfriend who was probably on the emotionally abusive scale. And yet it is still so sad that that sadness was mixed up with my food. Food was a filler. A distraction. A seemingly "fun" thing to consume when things felt out of control or overwhelming. And at the same time I feel so deeply grateful that I pursued a path of enlightenment with my desire. I began a process in my journaling that I called "Food Awareness Entries" And numbered them FAE #1, FAE #2, etc. I feel so grateful that I was able to learn a way to satisfy my desires and manage my life without eliminating sugar completely! Do you want to learn how this can be your reality, too? Start my learning my 5 secrets to ending emotional eating! "I’m tired, it’s been a long day, that’s my way to relax… I need to find another way to relax that doesn’t require eating sweets in my room."
Let's get real. Sugar is satisfying, and as humans we are pleasure seeking creatures. So how do you overcome a sugar habit that is so deeply gratifying in the immediacy, and yet so ultimately dissatisfying in the long run and even intermediate? It's hard to quit sugar because you have conflicting feelings about sugar. You want it, and you don't want it. You are content, but you are not content. You want the taste and bliss it brings... but you also want your health. If you are nodding your head "Yes, that's me," then congratulations! Recognizing and examining this conflict is the first step to overcoming your sugar "addiction." Work on the next steps by grabbing my secrets to reversing the top 5 mistakes causing your emotional eating here! Let's just put it out there. I'm not in my 20s anymore. And I don't try to act like I'm in my 20s anymore either.
There are, of course, a LOT of ways to interprate that, but I am going to talk about health! Probably not surprising, right? When I was in my 20s I did all kinds of ridiculous things. Most of those I'm not going to embarrass myself by sharing them with you! Haha! But I will share with you the ridiculous things I did in the name of health! Hmm... where to start... Well, there was the fasting. Yup. I used to fast with the full moon. Once every 28 days I would go all day without eating. I did it to detoxify. And while, interestingly, I really never felt deprived or hungry on those days back then, I can tell you with certainty it would be AWFUL to try to do that today. And, then there was the time I tried to do a 5 day (or was it 7 day?) fast on what was essentially spicy lemonade. Yup, lemon juice, water, maple syrup, and cayenne. While that sounds like a fun and interesting drink to sip on occasion THAT concoction did NOT sustain me for whatever approximately week long "detox" I was trying to do. Nope. I called my friend crying on day three or so because I felt too weak to do anything, so she came and made me some millet to resuscitate me. Now that's a good friend. And, yes, we are still friends to this day! I also quit eating mushrooms, garlic, and onions for a while, because they were bad for meditation. And I was vegan for a while, which I'm STILL all about a plant based diet, but these days I also know it's important to 1) not alienate yourself from friends and family, which restrictive diets of any kind absolutely do, and 2) enjoy the foods you enjoy without guilt or restriction, such as cheese or meat or honey or whatever it is that you like. So why do I share these absolutely ridiculous stunts I tried? Because you know what. I was in my early 20s, and the early 20s are kind of made for experimental endeavors. I learned a lot doing weird health things. Like I learned that lemonade is really not sustenance designed for more than a hot afternoon. And I also share this because I feel like the world of health is still pushing programs and approaches that are really just for young people in their early 20s. While the idea of eating simple foods is awesome, even being strict about "clean eating" is not always realistic in our modern world. And while it's admirable to try to avoid the dismays of modern processed food, you really don't need to go "paleo" to get the benefits. And, one of my favorite things to say: Carbohydrates are GOOD for you!!!!!!! So if you have been bouncing around these crazy approaches to health, or if you know someone who has, and if you find that you STILL struggle with a desire to lose weight, an ambition to eat less sugar, a disappointment in your lack of energy, or just generally feeling LOUSY, then my health coaching program is for you!!!! Find out how YOU can eat the foods you love, never count a point/calorie/carb again, maintain your healthy weight, feel your best, have sustained energy, and look great! Start by learning my 5 secrets to end emotional eating! Don't you wish you could understand what it is that makes you BINGE on sugar until you feel sick? What it is that makes it impossible to put it down? Why on earth it has the grip on you that it does?
When it comes to sugar we often have individual triggers. I've had clients tell me that SIGHT is their trigger. If they SEE it, they want it. And recognizing that trigger is great - it can both help you avoid the trigger AND help you understand it when it happens so you can be prepared. For myself even to this day I have a few triggers. First of all, I am triggered by the "idea" of "having it." This is a powerful trigger to recognize because it means that I can actually get my "fix" without eating the whole freaking cake. I can "have" a slice...and if I don't like it, I can throw it away because I already "had" it. Another trigger for me is getting overly full. I kid you not when I get overly full, whether thanksgiving or just getting to the point of being hungry from a busy day and then overeating... once I overeat I WANT MORE, and I WANT SUGAR. It's kind of bizarre. But the awareness helps me do something else instead. Because it's about feeling like I have to DO something because now I'm uncomfortably full. Now I can use that awareness to do something else, like make tea, or simply remind myself that eating more will make me feel worse. Want to learn your triggers? Want to learn how to turn that awareness into an ally? My program, Love Every Bite, can help you wash the guilt away while recognizing your own personal triggers. Start with my 5 secrets to overcoming emotional eating! I've had these thoughts rumbling around in my head for a while. I haven't really know exactly how to talk about them in the context of me as "me" and me as "health coach."
But I'm going to go for it anyway! Media Controls Our Body Image I sometimes get pretty riled up when it comes to how media affects us in our day to day. There is the incessant marketing of processed junk "food" products, often targeting children, low income, and other more susceptible markets. There is the deception across the board of how healthy a food is (or usually ISN'T), in marketing from the ads to the packages. Then there is the one I want to talk about today: objectification of women and how that affects our body image. Because I thought for a VERY long time that I had sheltered myself from the effects of the objectification of women in media (and the world at large). I thought because I avoided a lot of mainstream media, having watched little TV most of my life, surrounding myself with communities of true health like the YMCA, and just generally thinking that I'd kicked that bullshit out of my life. Because there is a lot of crap we have to avoid. The extremely limited scope of what "beautiful" is, the putting of certain phenotypes and cultural heritage on a pedestal of beauty, the shame and degradation of others that don't fit this type. We Are Oversexualized And there is more! The over sexualization of women, starting a woefully young age... I got some hand me down girl clothes, thinking I'd be a bit gender neutral with my two boys, I kept some of the shirts ... the girls t-shirts were all TIGHT. Why does a 3, 4, 5 year old need to wear TIGHT clothes? It disturbed me. And here is where my own relationship with body image gets complicated. I am healthy, I eat well, I exercise... and I'm also naturally thin, and tall. Just by default I somewhat "fit the mold" of what is considered the most "beautiful" or "sexy." I know in my teenage years and even young adulthood, I fell into what was expected, wearing tight, revealing clothes, etc. And I'm not against making yourself feel beautiful or desirable, I'm actually totally in favor of it. And yet the objectified version of it is so intertwined with the authentic version of it, it's completely confusing. Having Kids Is Like WTF So here I was, thinking that I was in control of that definition, thinking that I wasn't confused at all, that I was only doing exactly what I wanted to be doing, that I knew I didn't care about this societal pressure, I was being authentic to just what felt good to ME! And then I had kids. And while to an outsider I probably looked like I lost the baby weight fairly easily/quickly, my body changed. Lots of subtle, but pervasive changes. I'm not going to list them all out here, because I'm not trying to show how so many things went downhill. I'm trying to grapple with the fact that I thought I was free from this objectification/social expectation of beauty, when I wasn't. Because I think the one change, no matter how naturally thin or traditionally beautiful you may be, no matter how hard yo try to preserve whatever desired qualities you have... there is ONE thing that NO ONE can avoid. And that is leaving youth behind. Media is Obsessed With Youth I've been mourning leaving behind the maiden phase. And I've been working on embracing my growth into mother, and eventually, I know, grandmother and crone. Because I know there is a lot to embrace and admire. And yet, all the things I thought I'd been immune to all my life about beauty, I realize had a place in me that I didn't know existed. I think it's fine to mourn a life change. And yet it's become complicated because I've also discovered all this baggage that I didn't even know I had, that society's perception of beauty HAD, indeed, set firm root inside me. So I am working to untangle the judgement and objectification from my authentic self. I share this here to let you know that I know personal health can be complicated. Our beliefs about ourselves and our body change and evolve over time, as we age, as we leave life phases behind, as we come to realizations about ourselves we didn't even know we had! As a health coach, most people want practical information they can apply in the day to day. And that is totally my jam! I LOVE talking health and solving logistical problems with health. And at the same time, if we unearth complicated, tangled up things, I want you to know that our time together is a safe space to be honest about things that are affecting our lives and our health. Find out how big an influence media has been on your healthy body image with my awesome quiz. And then of course let me know, what do you think about media and body image? |
Categories
All
Archives
July 2021
|