I'm going to tell you something that you probably don't know about me...I played college sports.
I played on the University of Texas at Austin Ultimate Team. What is Ultimate? It's more commonly referred to as Ultimate Frisbee, however "Frisbee" is technically a brand name so that's not the official name of the sport. The official name is just "Ultimate." I like to get exercise and I love cooperative endeavors. I am also the least competitive person that you know. So I'll tell you a secret. I was only on the team the first year that they had been created. Even though I like to run, I didn't like body-slamming or landing myself on the ground to catch the disc. Shortly thereafter the team became quite competitive and I'm sure that I never would have made the cut after that first year. Why do I tell you this? I'm telling you this because that team captain had a motto that has stuck with me to this day. Once in awhile people would be complaining about a call that a "ref" had made or something dirty that the other team had done that hadn't been caught. And someone would inevitably say, "We should have won that game." And that team captain always said, "Shoulda Woulda Coulda." Or she also liked to say, "Never should have always could have." You know what that means? It means never say "should." Should is a waste of time. I should exercise more. I should eat more vegetables. I should cut out sugar. I should... Don't even say it. Saying and doing are totally different things. Don't get me wrong everybody shays "should" sometimes. I'm guilty of it! We all are! Talk does not equal action. Action is hard! Talk is easy. Here's the other thing about should. Should implies guilt. And as you probably do know about me, I'm pretty anti guilt. It doesn't serve much purpose in modern day life. If you want to veg out in front of the TV and eat a carton of ice cream go for it. But do not feel guilty afterwards! Exercise not really fitting into your life right now? Don't feel guilty! It doesn't help! Assess things and make a change when the time is right. Shoulda Woulda Coulda. Never should have always could have. See how that applies? See how almost 15 years later from that one semester when I hardly even played that coach's info stuck in my head? It's brilliant. Never should have always could have. That's right I shouldn't have exercised I could have exercised. I either chose to or chose not to. We all fall into the "should have" trap. Modern day is full of guilt, full of busyness, full of lack of time. I totally get that. That struggle is real. But you can change your attitude towards it, which I guarantee you will be an empowering thing to do. Never should have, always could have. Comment below and let me know how you can use this to shift things in your life!
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Yup, that's right. It's not a typo. I meant UNhealthy. Let me explain.
My business began with six families taking my "Hand-on Health" class that was actually teaching the preschoolers about health! As fun as that was, I was clear that it was the moms and dads asking the questions that I wanted to serve... and that my own two kids were plenty for me. So I began focusing on the struggles that families faced in eating healthy every day. From that endeavor were born my Picky Kids into Healthy Eaters and Beyond Meal Planning programs, both of which I'm super proud of! My programs have touched many moms as well! For example, Natalie and Rachel right here in San Diego with me said: Your email today made me smile and feel appreciated! You know how it is... somedays you feel like you didn't accomplish anything even though you made 4+ meals, cleaned, did 4 loads of laundry, gave baths, put out fires, went grocery shopping...need I go on. So thank you for giving me a moment to realize I do accomplish a whole lot even I don't think I do. And reminding me that all of us stay at home moms are Awesome!!! You are awesome Alegra!!! - Natalie in San Diego Meal Planning for Healthy Family Harmony inspired me not to give up on meal planning and to find ways to outsource many of the tedious parts I usually get hung up on. I love that Alegra's program breaks it down so even a busy mama can reap the rewards of a well planned kitchen. Definitely had an "aha" moment realizing that even a non-type A can do meal planning without having to always be on Pinterest or do it all by yourself. There are ways to tailor it to your unique lifestyle. -Rachel And as I've started taking one on one clients, I've been working in a more intimate way, helping women take baby steps for their health. The real work of nutritional health... ...is not in a cleanse that you do for 3 or 7 days... ...it's not in a bar or shake that you eat... ...it's not in telling yourself you can never eat sugar again (and then chastising yourself when you inevitable do)... ...it's not in dieting until you reach a number on the scale... ...it's not in anything except EATING FOOD EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. And in helping other brave women who have had the courage to be vulnerable with me and share with me the negative relationship they have wit food based on doing all those things that can't ever work because they are actually unhealthy and unrealistic... I've rediscovered something. I've rediscovered the negative relationship that I had with food 15 years ago. Don't worry, I don't HAVE a negative relationship with food... I have just REMEMBERED that I USED to have one. I've re-read books I read years ago. I've had TWO books returned to me, which I read 15 years ago to help me with that relationship, and loaned out 5+ years ago. Because 15 years ago I struggled with recurring throat and lung infections. The doctors prescribed antibiotics even though I tested negative for strep every time and they could not tell me what was causing them. So I found an MD who practiced alternative health. He gave me better solutions for dealing with the infections... but had no advice on how to prevent them. So I found an acupuncturist who was an amazing overall healer... and she told me to STOP EATING SUGAR. (But in a really nice way, because she was such a nice lady.) And at the time that SHOCKED ME. And to be honest, I did not do it. Because I was, actually, pretty addicted to sugar. But I started working towards it. I started coming up with sugar alternatives, to do when I wanted sugar instead of sugar. And it took a long time, and in the beginning it was a real struggle. But slowly, with a lot of self work on what the heck that love of sugar was really about (beside the fact that dessert is delicious), I transformed that relationship with sugar to one that is really healthy. Do I still eat sugar? Hell yes! I'd never tell anyone to stop eating anything they enjoy. Can I get an Amen to that??? And yet, I had to shift that dynamic. It wasn't serving. It was contributing to recurring INFECTIONS! Those did slowly fade away with time as well. And I still get to eat sugar! Best part is that I now know when I actually want sugar because it tastes good or it's a celebration... and when I think I want it but I don't really want it. And that freedom helps me to feel great everyday and eat exactly what I want while still taking great care of my health! Do you want to feel great every day eating exactly what you want? Book a complimentary, no obligation coaching session to learn more. I've had these thoughts rumbling around in my head for a while. I haven't really know exactly how to talk about them in the context of me as "me" and me as "health coach."
But I'm going to go for it anyway! Media Controls Our Body Image I sometimes get pretty riled up when it comes to how media affects us in our day to day. There is the incessant marketing of processed junk "food" products, often targeting children, low income, and other more susceptible markets. There is the deception across the board of how healthy a food is (or usually ISN'T), in marketing from the ads to the packages. Then there is the one I want to talk about today: objectification of women and how that affects our body image. Because I thought for a VERY long time that I had sheltered myself from the effects of the objectification of women in media (and the world at large). I thought because I avoided a lot of mainstream media, having watched little TV most of my life, surrounding myself with communities of true health like the YMCA, and just generally thinking that I'd kicked that bullshit out of my life. Because there is a lot of crap we have to avoid. The extremely limited scope of what "beautiful" is, the putting of certain phenotypes and cultural heritage on a pedestal of beauty, the shame and degradation of others that don't fit this type. We Are Oversexualized And there is more! The over sexualization of women, starting a woefully young age... I got some hand me down girl clothes, thinking I'd be a bit gender neutral with my two boys, I kept some of the shirts ... the girls t-shirts were all TIGHT. Why does a 3, 4, 5 year old need to wear TIGHT clothes? It disturbed me. And here is where my own relationship with body image gets complicated. I am healthy, I eat well, I exercise... and I'm also naturally thin, and tall. Just by default I somewhat "fit the mold" of what is considered the most "beautiful" or "sexy." I know in my teenage years and even young adulthood, I fell into what was expected, wearing tight, revealing clothes, etc. And I'm not against making yourself feel beautiful or desirable, I'm actually totally in favor of it. And yet the objectified version of it is so intertwined with the authentic version of it, it's completely confusing. Having Kids Is Like WTF So here I was, thinking that I was in control of that definition, thinking that I wasn't confused at all, that I was only doing exactly what I wanted to be doing, that I knew I didn't care about this societal pressure, I was being authentic to just what felt good to ME! And then I had kids. And while to an outsider I probably looked like I lost the baby weight fairly easily/quickly, my body changed. Lots of subtle, but pervasive changes. I'm not going to list them all out here, because I'm not trying to show how so many things went downhill. I'm trying to grapple with the fact that I thought I was free from this objectification/social expectation of beauty, when I wasn't. Because I think the one change, no matter how naturally thin or traditionally beautiful you may be, no matter how hard yo try to preserve whatever desired qualities you have... there is ONE thing that NO ONE can avoid. And that is leaving youth behind. Media is Obsessed With Youth I've been mourning leaving behind the maiden phase. And I've been working on embracing my growth into mother, and eventually, I know, grandmother and crone. Because I know there is a lot to embrace and admire. And yet, all the things I thought I'd been immune to all my life about beauty, I realize had a place in me that I didn't know existed. I think it's fine to mourn a life change. And yet it's become complicated because I've also discovered all this baggage that I didn't even know I had, that society's perception of beauty HAD, indeed, set firm root inside me. So I am working to untangle the judgement and objectification from my authentic self. I share this here to let you know that I know personal health can be complicated. Our beliefs about ourselves and our body change and evolve over time, as we age, as we leave life phases behind, as we come to realizations about ourselves we didn't even know we had! As a health coach, most people want practical information they can apply in the day to day. And that is totally my jam! I LOVE talking health and solving logistical problems with health. And at the same time, if we unearth complicated, tangled up things, I want you to know that our time together is a safe space to be honest about things that are affecting our lives and our health. Find out how big an influence media has been on your healthy body image with my awesome quiz. And then of course let me know, what do you think about media and body image? |
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