I'm so ugly.
Ever had any of these thoughts…
I'm not feeling pretty.
I'm feeling fat and ugly.
I have so many wrinkles.
My boobs are saggy.
Look at your double chin.
Look at your belly.
It's your fault you got this fat.
You only have yourself to blame.
If you have ever had any thoughts like these… and lets be honest, who hasn’t? Yeah, some of those are mine…some are other people’s they’ve shared with me.
Then I want to chime in here... that is your bitch brain talking.
We ALL have one (men and women both), but women are definitely "trained" to listen to that bitch more than men, though both can fall into it. It actually really pisses me off how society subtly but pervasively makes this kind of thinking epidemic, not matter who you are, where you live, what you look like, or anything else.
And that bitch brain is probably getting louder EXACTLY because you are making positive healthy choices. I'm not a psychologist, I can't tell you *why* that happens... but I do work with women to help them overcome sugar addiction and emotional eating and I can tell you with certainty that if the bitch brain was one of the reasons why you were turning to sugar in the first place (almost always), then when you begin to take better care of yourself that bitch brain gets LOUDER!
The moment you begin to make changes, you begin to think worse thoughts!! It’s very unfair. But think of it as a sign that you’re actually doing something right. Now you have to deal with it so it doesn’t tear you down.
So, how can you turn that off?
Well, it's multi step process and will likely take time, just like any lifestyle change.
1. Retrain your brain. Practice affirmations, but you have to FEEL them. It's not just words... it's FEELING the words and MEANING the words and going just beyond where you are now to where you can BELIEVE the words that describe the next step where you are certain to be in a few days or a week.
2. Journal. You are likely carrying around old baggage. We all are, really, but you have to get to the bottom of it and understand why stopping eating sugar (or exercising or making a healthy choice at a restaurant, or whatever) is making your own brain into a hater. You must understand how you got to where you are at in order to effectively change it.
3. You have to turn your bitch brain into a friend. Instead of accepting the comments as truth... ask her questions. Yes I'm telling you to talk to yourself It works! Ask yourself why you are thinking those things. As you progress your relationship you can start to challenge her. But like the affirmations, if you challenge too early she will fight back. First understand where she is coming from. Over time you will learn to recognize these thoughts as normal self doubt that does not have to be critical or self sabotaging.
Finally, link these new habits to old ones. This works with any kind of new habit - positive thoughts, healthy eating, exercise, etc. You have to find a time... like when you brush your teeth look in the mirror and say 3 nice things about yourself. Since you are already brushing your teeth it will be easier to get this new affirmative habit to "stick" to an old habit than to create a new one from our of thin air.
If you are ready to apply these simple yet profoundly life changing steps in your life…
If you are ready to reverse your relationship with food and your body and start to feel great about yourself...
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