Take a guess what my speed is

My speed is unknown. It's naturally fast. I like to go. I like to do. I like to be. I like to make.  But lately, not at all. Lately, I've been still and frozen and stuck. Lately, I've been scared. Lately, I've been trying but failing. I can't say I've really made any forward movement in years. Except maybe lately. A little. Hard maybe. So many people are always talking to me. Messages to reply to. Hunting down the help I need. It's chaotic. The pulling, the pressing, the sounds from so many directions. I want to be forward momentum. I want to be brave. I want to be calm. I want my nervous system to be regulated. I want to be free. I want to be alone. I want to be together. I want. Despite this wanting, I feel hope. I feel hopeful that I can move beyond the noises and chaos. I feel hopeful I can create. I feel hopeful I can heal. I feel hopeful I can be healed.