This house is so dark

This house is so dark. The chandeliers feature upside-down-pointing fake candle flames. They are incandescent, which you can't even buy anymore in California, but there is a stockpile here. They burn out all the time. They pop when they burn out. And then it's 10-20% darker (depending on the room; the living room has two chandeliers with 10 "flames," the bedrooms have one chandelier each with 5 "flames," and the kitchen has a measly 3 "flames.") There is stained glass on the windows, too. So it's even dark during the day. And yet... and yet! The blackout curtains in the windows (not stained glass) in the bedrooms don't work!!! So, in the wee hours of the morning, you also can't make them dark enough!